Sunday, May 20, 2012

Forever Love

Dear Cinta, Love, Heart, Sayang, Eternity and Priority,

It had came to each of us and it had took place for quite sometime until me myself had made mistakes to this relationship. Where it begin and how it ends, all had become messed up and yet until this moment no one can ever think of that we will end in this way.

Still remember 17 June 2008? 11.32AM. After send one of our friend to LCCT? That is the day that you had come back to me and ask if you can sit in by my side and in my heart. The night before we went out together for dinner. Yes. All those memories that NEVER can be deleted. Every single piece of it, I still remember the day that you had promised to be by my side forever. Days went off, so do months and years that had we faced together. 

Either friends neither family, all had known each other very well as we always be here and there together. Never been separated to be exact. Eyes that looked towards us, gave us such look. Mouth that spoke about us, had talked so much about us. But Alhamdullilah we had went all of it throughout. Three years of relationship to us had brought us in such of stage. Lots of things happened and yes, so did ups and downs. Laughter often turns into tears and love can be hate too. That's what had happened between us. I am too blind too see and too cold to feel the warmth. Everything that you had done in our relationship is not comparable at all with what I had gave to you. You are far too kind and away too loyal in this really serious relationship and yes. I did not gave the same for quite a time. I had betrayed your trust and this love. Happened for few times and yes. I don't know why I still want to get back into your arms. It's not that I do not fell towards the other, I did. If I don't, I won't done it at the first place. Make sense right. Chances by chances gave by him and I still done the same mistakes. Until when I really feel that I can't live without him at all, I lost his love forever. He change from what he used to be and try to be with someone else either. Yet, I can't be with someone else and so do him.

He did have someone else in his life and I believe, he still trying to be with other either. In my shoes, I had tried and to be with others. What had happened in all total of 4 relationships in past few months? None of them stays. Either my very own mistake or theirs, no one knows. It just does not stay. I can't stay much about it either because at one point, I don't know what is happening around me. I just lost it. His side? I saw him in few relationships, not a serious one I think. But one of it don't stay also. Same case but different thoughts maybe.

Until at this moment, all that I can I think is get back into how we used to be last time. I missed all the moments that we shared together and laughter yet tears that had thought us. Three years and yet I still counting it every month and I still feel the way he love me like we used to be. Just by remembering the moments between us, I can smile the whole night and by just thinking about him and how much I missed him, it bring back my tears that I can't share it towards others. I love him and just him. It's not that I did not try to love others. But always happened by the end of the day, I will always turn back to this love. 

Unfortunately, between me and him are just best friend. That is how he want it to be for now. I can't ask for more in this relationship. Let Allah decide for us. InsyaAllah, with HIS will, we will be there for each other. Until now, let us be best friend and let us be behind each other whenever needed. To him, you are going to chase your dream soon. I will always pray for you, for us and for the entire family. Muhammad Hafiz, you have the special place and you will always be there for the rest of my life insyaAllah. 

Love much.

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